5 Healthy Ways To Resolve Arguments In A Relationship

A couple arguing

An argument constitutes more than just a mere disagreement; it encompasses any situation where individuals engage in a verbal or emotional clash of perspectives and ideas. These disputes are an inherent component of relationships, be it within the confines of a romantic partnership or a marriage. In essence, arguments reflect the divergent viewpoints, unique experiences, and individual convictions that each person brings to the table.

However, it is imperative to recognize that the mere existence of arguments in a relationship is not the issue. Instead, the essence of the problem lies in how these disagreements are managed and resolved. A healthy and constructive approach to handling arguments can serve as a stepping stone to deeper understanding, increased empathy, and strengthened bonds between partners.

One analogy that often captures the essence of arguments is the classic optical illusion where one person perceives the number 6 as 9, while the other sees 9 as 6. In relationships, these divergent perspectives can similarly lead to impassioned arguments, where each partner fervently defends their viewpoint. This divergence is a natural consequence of individuals having distinct backgrounds, beliefs, and experiences.

In some cases, partners may view arguments as an opportunity to assert dominance or establish their correctness, essentially treating these disputes as though they were debates to be won. Such an approach can be detrimental, as it shifts the focus away from understanding and resolution, making it more about ego and winning. In these situations, the true purpose of the argument, which is to bridge the gap in perspectives and find common ground, gets lost in the heat of the moment.

Moreover, when arguments escalate, they can evolve into something more destructive, transforming the course of a relationship into an unpleasant one. These ugly conflicts may result in hurtful words, emotional wounds, and a loss of trust, ultimately eroding the foundation of the partnership. To maintain a healthy and thriving relationship, it is crucial for both partners to understand that arguments are an opportunity for growth, learning, and deeper connection, rather than a battleground for dominance.

In the realm of relationships, conflicts are unavoidable; however, it is worth exploring several strategies to effectively navigate them.

Resolve arguments in a relationship
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How to resolve arguments in a relationship:

Be open-minded

Protracted arguments within a relationship often persist when one partner remains resistant to truly comprehending the perspective of the other. This refusal to empathize and understand can evoke a sense of hurt and frustration in the person whose viewpoint is being disregarded. To foster harmonious communication, it is imperative for both individuals to create an environment where both their voices are equally heard and valued.

A critical step in achieving this equilibrium is to cultivate an open-minded attitude. Open-mindedness paves the way for constructive dialogue by permitting the unrestricted expression of thoughts and feelings. By being open to your partner’s viewpoint, you open the door to mutual understanding. It’s not just about hearing their words but genuinely comprehending their emotions, values, and experiences that underpin their perspective.

Active listening is a key practice in this regard. When you attentively listen to your partner, you demonstrate your commitment to understanding their point of view. In doing so, you validate their feelings and acknowledge the significance of their thoughts. Active listening creates an atmosphere of respect and empathy, thereby promoting effective communication, even during times of disagreement.

Understanding your partner’s standpoint is not tantamount to surrendering your own beliefs. Instead, it’s about finding common ground and compromise, where both partners can coexist with their unique views. This approach fosters a sense of calmness and emotional safety, even when misunderstandings arise. It allows you to work through conflicts without escalating them into protracted and emotionally draining disputes.

The key to resolving ongoing arguments in a relationship is rooted in empathy, open-mindedness, and active listening. By giving your partner the opportunity to express themselves and sincerely try to comprehend their perspective, you create a foundation for constructive and peaceful conversations, even in moments of discord. In the end, it is this willingness to understand and empathize with one another that paves the way for stronger and more resilient relationships.

Be polite about your feelings or view

In the complex dynamics of any relationship, it’s almost inevitable that there will be moments when your partner’s actions or words inadvertently hurt your feelings. These instances can often become the breeding ground for conflict, or they can serve as opportunities for growth and strengthened communication. The key lies in how you choose to communicate your feelings and views to your partner.

One fundamental aspect of productive communication in such situations is politeness. Expressing your feelings in a polite and respectful manner not only ensures that your message is heard, but also conveys the importance of the relationship and your partner’s feelings. Politeness forms a bridge that connects your emotions and your partner’s understanding, making it more likely that your concerns will be taken seriously.

When emotions are running high, especially when anger is in the mix, it’s crucial to be cautious about the amount and intensity of words you use. Speaking excessively or aggressively when you’re angry can inadvertently escalate the situation. In the heat of the moment, emotions can cloud judgment, making it challenging to articulate your thoughts in a constructive manner. Therefore, it’s wise to pause and collect your thoughts before engaging in a conversation about the issue that’s causing you distress.

For example, saying, “I felt hurt when this happened” allows you to express your emotions without making your partner feel attacked. It encourages a more empathetic and less defensive response.

Furthermore, active listening is a vital component of this process. By listening attentively to your partner’s response and feelings, you establish a two-way channel of communication. This can lead to a deeper understanding of each other’s perspectives and pave the way for resolution and compromise.

A couple politely expressing their views
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Be honest

Honesty is an indispensable cornerstone of any successful romantic relationship, particularly when it comes to the bedrock of trust. Without honesty, the very fabric of trust that binds two individuals together begins to unravel. It’s crucial to understand that honesty goes far beyond merely refraining from telling blatant lies; it extends to being open, transparent, and forthright in your communication with your partner.

In the context of relationships, honesty operates as a kind of glue that holds everything together. It is the honesty between partners that nurtures trust, creating a secure and loving environment where both individuals can thrive. In contrast, dishonesty, whether through acts of omission or deliberate deceit, can corrode the foundation of trust, leading to insecurity, doubt, and, eventually, conflict.

One of the most significant areas where dishonesty can wreak havoc is during arguments or when issues arise in the relationship. Arguments fueled by dishonesty are often more intense and destructive than those born from open and honest discussions. When problems surface, it can be tempting to cover them up or tell lies to avoid confrontation or to protect your partner’s feelings. However, this is a slippery slope that can lead to even greater problems down the line.

Instead, when issues arise, it’s essential to embrace honesty as the best policy. Being candid with your partner about your feelings, concerns, and thoughts fosters an atmosphere of openness and vulnerability. It creates an environment where both partners feel safe to express themselves without fear of judgment or reprisal. When you are honest, you allow your partner to understand your perspective and your emotions, which is crucial for resolving conflicts and maintaining a healthy relationship.

Settle your differences

Frequently, disagreements have the propensity to evoke feelings of anger, subsequently leading to quarrels and breeding resentment within a relationship. In such instances, the aggrieved party may opt not to initiate reconciliation until the other person takes the first step. Should this impasse persist, it could precipitate an abrupt end to the relationship or result in the unfortunate situation of living together in a perpetual state of bitterness.

In cases where genuine love exists between both parties, the emphasis should not revolve around determining who is right or wrong. Instead, the focus should be on prioritizing the well-being of the relationship itself. Timely and amicable resolution of differences becomes paramount in this context. The love shared should be the driving force, capable of transcending any bitterness that may have arisen.

The underlying message is that love should serve as the guiding light in navigating through conflicts. It should inspire both partners to set aside the desire to prove themselves right and, instead, seek common ground and understanding. By doing so, they pave the way for the enduring strength and resilience of their relationship, ensuring that love triumphs over bitterness.

A couple settling their differences with a therapist
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Become a better person

In the early stages of a relationship or marriage, it’s entirely natural to experience a fair share of arguments and conflicts. These initial disputes often stem from the process of getting to know each other on a deeper level and learning how to navigate the differences that invariably emerge. It’s a time of adjustment, adaptation, and understanding. However, the key to ensuring a thriving and enduring connection lies in a shared commitment to personal growth and improvement.

When you genuinely care for each other, the tendency to want to become a better person for your partner becomes an innate part of the relationship. This mutual desire for self-improvement can act as a catalyst for transforming conflicts and disagreements into opportunities for growth and increased understanding.

One fundamental aspect of this growth is the art of accommodation. Learning to accommodate your partner’s flaws and idiosyncrasies demonstrates your love and commitment. It’s an acknowledgment that nobody is perfect, and embracing imperfections is a part of any authentic and loving relationship. In the same breath, it’s essential for both individuals to self-reflect and work on improving their own flaws and shortcomings. This mutual dedication to personal development not only benefits the individual but also the relationship as a whole.

As you both strive to become better versions of yourselves, you’ll find that you begin to understand each other on a deeper level. This understanding is a product of the patience, empathy, and acceptance that come with personal growth. The more you learn about your partner’s strengths and weaknesses, the easier it becomes to navigate differences and conflicts. This understanding, in turn, promotes a healthier and more harmonious relationship.

In the context of a new relationship, avoiding some common mistakes can significantly contribute to setting the relationship on a healthy and prosperous course.


In your relationship, it’s crucial to embrace flexibility in decision-making. Allowing your partner to have a say, actively listening to their perspective, and seeking to understand them better are vital components of a harmonious partnership. By doing so, you’ll find that disagreements won’t linger for extended periods, as you’ll swiftly grasp their viewpoint and be willing to adapt when necessary.

Furthermore, cultivating a mindset dedicated to making your relationship work can be a game-changer. It encourages you to invest your best efforts into the partnership, fostering an environment of collaboration and understanding.

It’s essential to bear in mind that during heated arguments, hurtful words can be exceptionally damaging and, in many cases, irreparable. These words have the potential to inflict deep wounds, causing lasting harm to the relationship. Prolonged, unresolved arguments, if they become a pattern, can ultimately erode the foundations of a relationship, leading to its dissolution.

To maintain a healthy relationship, it’s also important to establish boundaries and uphold respect, even when disagreements arise. The ability to compromise, when feasible, is another valuable asset in managing conflicts effectively.

When arguments are managed with care and consideration, they can actually serve to strengthen the love and bond within a relationship. This approach nurtures mutual understanding and paves the way for a more resilient and enduring partnership.

5 healthy ways to resolve arguments in a relationship