Making some common mistakes in relationships is something that has come to stay in life. The truth is that we are not perfect beings, we will make mistakes but some mistakes are avoidable.
The level of mistakes being made in many relationships today is so much that most times people get confused. This confusion pushes people into even making more mistakes. But the truth is, there are obvious mistakes you must avoid.
If I tell you that you won’t make mistakes in your dating life or marriage, then I am lying to you. There are some common mistakes you should not make and that’s the mistakes we are here to talk about today. So I have a list and we will look at them one after the other.
Errors to Avoid in Relationships
- Not Over Your Past Relationship
The first mistake we make when entering a new relationship is starting a new one without recovering from a past relationship. Most people rush and enter into a new relationship when they should take the time to heal from whatever made the first relationship fail. What usually happens is that you accept a new person thinking you love him or her but the truth is, you don’t love him or her. It’s mostly a rebound relationship.
You are mostly vulnerable so you are looking for something to distract you from the pain. When you heal with time, you realize you are not really into the new person.
Another mistake that is related to this that most people don’t see is that, when you don’t take your time to heal, you will not learn what went wrong in the last relationship and you will repeat it in the next relationship. The healing season is supposed to be the time to reflect on what happened in the past. See what didn’t work, train yourself to not repeat it again.
- Making excuses for bad behavior
Most of you usually think that you are just giving people the benefit of the doubt while what you actually doing is making excuses for bad behavior. This applies to the person you want to date as much as it applies to you.
- How does it apply to you?
You are in the same Whatsapp group with people that say accept me the way I am. Most people that are an advocate of accepting me the way I am have bad behavior that they should be working on but instead of working on it, they want people to accept them with their bad behavior in the name that it is who they are.
- Trying to control your partner
This is one of the mistakes we find mostly in men and sometimes in women. There is a desire in so many people to want to control their partner to do what they like. The error with this is that, nobody should be seeking to control anybody because we are all human beings with a will. Humans with minds to do things best for them. When you go into a relationship looking to control your partner, then you are not looking for a partner that you will become one within marriage that is a human. You are looking for a robot.
If you are someone that has this desire of always wanting to tell others what to do, then you need to slow down. You can advise but you shouldn’t force them to take your advice. They have a life of their own and should be able to decide if they want something or not.
- Not talking about money during the dating seasons
Two things that have been identified to be the highest in breaking marriages of today are sex and money. When couples are dating, they avoid talking about money management. Some men woo women who are clearly ‘above their class’ with money. They do everything possible for the woman to think they are financially stable but that will not be the case. In order to have a good and lasting relationship, you must be able to. You need to learn the spending and saving habits of/with your partner. Talk about how you think money should be managed. Who earns what and who pays what.
- Private account, joint account and the rest
I will advise you that if you can’t have transparent money talk and sex talk before marriage, don’t marry.
As much as we are not meant to have sex in a relationship you still need to have a healthy conversation about it. You need to figure out if who you want to marry and have anything against sex, etc.
- Allowing third parties to run your relationship
A relationship is meant to be with two people. Not the whole community of online family and friends. I am not saying you should not have a public relationship if that’s what you both want but what I am trying to say/mean is that with the public relationship, a lot of people will have something to say. There will be hot takes here and there about what you should do or not.
Ensure you don’t make the mistake of listening to these public opinions more than you listen to your partner especially when both of you have a healthy relationship.
I am not saying you shouldn’t listen to advice in general. What I am saying is that you must have a filter to filter through their hot takes and ensure you are not consuming what will kill your relationship.
People will just be giving takes and you can follow the one that will put you in trouble the one that will put you in trouble.
Rather have a professional counselor to help you so avoid the mistake of allowing your online family to run your marriage.